PATRICK VIEW - LIFE AND THE STRUGGLE




Every time in life, you have to learn to stand up for yourself. Nobody will finish what you started, except you let them steal it from you.
As soon as you start aging you will start to understand that life is a big fight and everyday we all fight to make life worthwhile. While growing up we are thought about life and how hard its going to be in order to survive.
There are so many things that can’t be bypass in life and life struggle is one of them, no matter how strong or rich you are, there will be a point in your life that you will find yourself in one struggles or the other but your power to overcome them is the measurement of your strength.

Are you facing some life challenges and you kept wondering how you can overcome this period; you have try hard but all effort seems fruitless.
1. Just be you. Stay strong. Focus, and don’t let nothing hold you down.
2. Don’t believe in the concept of the normal because you see everybody do it.
3. Don’t accept famous traditions because you see everybody practice it.


Just do what your mind whispers to your heart. Then fight and struggle through all difficulties, like it’s going to be your last.

 I will be dropping few things you will need to know about the struggles of life.

The struggles can be in :
1. Family
2. Place of work
3. School/university
4. Finance
5. Marriage/Relationship
6. Happiness

1. Family

If I had to list every struggle, the list would never end – parenting is hard! So, I figured the best thing to do would be to group it in 7 ways(personal view).

Today’s parents struggle with 7 main things. Not surprisingly, modern parents struggle with roughly the same things their parents struggled with in the past. Today, they just give it a different name, maybe to feel a bit more modern or advanced. Same struggle, different shape.
Here are the 7 main struggle parents experience in family:

 A. Parents struggle with managing themselves emotionally

B. Parents can struggle with social pressure

C. Parents struggle with an overload of information

D. Parents struggle with money management

E. Parents struggle with ineffective time-management skills 

F. Managing their relationships

G. Many parents struggle with managing their physical body

A. Parents struggle with managing themselves emotionally- They can get overwhelmed, anxious, and scared and they don’t know how to manage their feelings. They get stressed to the max and this stress projects onto their kids, leaving not much space for enjoyment in life. They are role models even of the things they wish they weren’t.

B. Parents can struggle with social pressure:We live in a society that constantly portrays the message that fitting in is more important than being yourself. Parents often experience doubt about what is right and wrong and can be very influenced by media. Those who have good social skills and strong emotional stability can develop their own opinion about the newest gadgets (for example, the functionality of the mobile phone rather than the need to be trendy, or buying the next new gadget, house or car). 

C. Parents struggle with an overload of information : They reach a paradox of choice – too many choices. This overload quickly makes them feel inadequate and makes them doubt their parenting style. 

D. Parents struggle with money management: They have a core belief that they need money in order to be good parents. Their focus on earning money diverts them from realizing that love, caring, joy, shared experiences and even learning requires very little or just basic funds. 


E. Parents struggle with ineffective time-management skills : They often do not value their time and can be inefficient. That is why they can get easily stressed by having too many things to do and not enough hours in the day to do them in. Successful time-managers can do amazing things with the same 24 hours days. Good time management is essential to a successful and happy household. 


F. Managing their relationships- Kids and their parents are in relationships their entire lives. They are in relationships with their teachers, friends, family members, colleagues, bosses, neighbors and even people they meet for a short time. What they do is relate to others in the only way they know how. Being in a relationship is an art form. It is a learned skill that will determine many aspects of our lives. Relationships challenges are some of the reasons why we have so many divorced parents, single parents or mixed families. This puts even more pressure on every family’s emotional stability.

G. Many parents struggle with managing their physical body- They lack sleep; they lack nutrients and clarity of mind. Many parents eat unhealthy food, drink too much alcohol, smoke, and some even use other substances to manage day to day life. Parents neglect their body – the vehicle in which they travel through life. If the vehicle is run down, it is hard for them to help their kids take care of their own bodies. The way parents manage their bodies is the way their kids will manage their bodies as well.

2. Place of work

Here are the list of struggle some of us pass through while at our place of work:

A. Anxiety about your work not being good enough.
B. Confusion about what the first steps of a task are.
C. Feeling overwhelmed by the volume of tasks.
D. Fear of asking for help.
E. Disagreement with decision making.

A. Anxiety about your work not being good enough- 

Employees who have a high attention to details — who are perfectionist — are susceptible to this trap, where they become so nervous about delivering something of poor quality that they can’t work on it at all.
B. Confusion about what the first steps of a task are- 
Most people need an external structure for breaking down tasks. it’s important to realize that lack of structure, or bad task management, can cause people to freeze.
C. Feeling overwhelmed by the volume of tasks-
This is a problem leaders themselves often have. I know I do, personally — mostly because I’m bad at multitasking.
D. Fear of asking for help-
Most worker feel they know it all. Because they feel  too embarrassed to ask for help.
E. Disagreement with decision making-
Most workers struggle with decision making made by the boss. So when at work they struggle and adhere to such decisions.

3. School/university

Here is another life struggle which students pass through while at university. Here is the list of the struggles:

A. The amount of work
B. Moving away from home
C. Can I finally handle a job and schoolwork
D. Are we even relevant
E. About money 

A. The amount of work-
One rumour which always goes around,that the first year of your degree will be much easier.

B. Moving away from home-

Of course, moving away from home is to a new environment is kind of disturbing at first instance. I struggled with this a lot. I’ve left my parents, my brothers, my dogs, my friends at home and the first few weeks weren’t easy.

C. Can I finally handle a job and schoolwork-
We all know what it’s like have an endless supply of homework and on top of that to be broke. That’s like your typical college student definition. 

D. Are we even relevant-

We are no longer the eager freshman who have the best four years of their life ahead of them, we are not quite the juniors who are working feverishly on their work that will catapult them into graduation, and we are far from joining the real world with the seniors. 

E. About money 
This is the major one most of our student suffer in university. Stress of no money, new living circumstance, independence and other factors, including financial pressures, can all interfere with your ability to learn.

4. Finance

In fact, they don’t just think about it. They worry about it. You may be able to relate to those fears. And, with the start of the new year, you may be sick and tired of being sick and tired when it comes to your money. You just may be ready to do whatever it takes to break through and get your financial house in order. The struggle is real and its part of life struggle for especially workers.

Here are the list of struggles in terms of money:


A. Sticking to a Budget
B. Planning for Retirement.
C. Paying for Education.
D. Building an Emergency Fund.
A. Sticking to a Budget.
People way of making and sticking to a budget as the biggest challenge they face with their money. That makes sense because if you don’t tell your cash where to go, you’ll end up wondering where it all went.
B. Planning for Retirement.
We all have a dream. We look forward to a future where our hard work has paid off and where we can sit back, relax and ride through.
But a lot of us are haunted by a single question: Will I have enough? That’s why planning for retirement is important.
C. Paying for Education.
So why are student expenses growing so rapidly these days? Well, people tend to feel a strong emotional tie between a quality education and a quality job. They want to succeed in the marketplace, and they’re willing to pile of tons of student debt to do it.
D. Building an Emergency Fund.
None of us can escape the unexpected. We’re all going to face things that we haven’t planned for and that can put a serious difficult in our financial security. On the surface, setting aside some cash for those rainy days makes all the sense in the world. But knowing how to make it happen can be another matter altogether.
Why? Because emergencies are going to happen.
You might not know the shape or the size of the storms you’ll face, but having that emergency fund in place gives you the security of knowing you can pay for whatever hits
5. Marriage/ relationship
For several years they  have been doing a survey of married couples and those in relationship. They have asked husbands(boyfriend)  and wives(girlfriend) to tell me what their greatest struggles are in their marriage/relationship. 

From the survey i got online am able to analyse the struggle's. So, what are the greatest struggles couples/partners are having today? I will list these struggles based on my personal view.

A. What is the one thing you would like to change in your marriage?

 Both men and women declared that the one thing they wanted to change most in their marriage was their spiritual life together. This answer was quite a revelation to me personally because I am constantly trying to communicate to couples that the key to changing their marriage is to first change their spiritual life, both personally and with their mate.



B. What is the greatest spiritual challenge in your marriage?

 Both men and women responded that the greatest spiritual challenge for them in their marriage was their lack of prayer time together. 


What steps should you take if you want to develop an effective prayer life together?

(1) Find a mutually agreeable time to pray 
together that fits both of your schedules.

(2) Keep the prayer time short and to the point.

(3) Keep your turn to pray short. In other words, don’t pray everything before your spouse has a chance to speak. 

(4) Be personal in your prayers.

(5) Pray for your marriage

C. What is the most serious stumbling-block you face emotionally in your marriage?

 Men(boyfriends) have difficulty in sharing their emotions with their wives(girl friend). Interestingly, women(girls) also believed that this was their greatest stumbling-block in the relationship/marriage. However, women/girls placed as the second greatest stumbling-block in their marriage/relationship the lack of emotional support from their husbands/boyfriend. This revealed to me that husbands/boyfriend and wives/girlfriend see the issue of emotions very differently.

D. What is the greatest hindrance in your communication?

 Both men and women agreed that their pride was the greatest hindrance to effectively communicate. Pride is another one of those spiritual issues that must be addressed in your heart. The problem of pride is one of the greatest reasons for communication breakdown for all of us. 


E. What is the greatest cause of division between a husband and wife in the area of parenting?


 Interestingly, again both husbands and wives agreed that it was their lack of consistency in their discipline of the children that brought the greatest division between them. The second greatest issue that caused division among couples was their lack of agreement about how to discipline. This fact is important because usually there is a lack of consistency because there is no agreement about if, when, and how to discipline the children. If these issues are where you struggle you are not alone. But, how can you address these issues and become more consistent?

F. What is the greatest sexual challenge you find in your relationship/marriage? 


The biggest challenge for men was the fact that their wives did not approach them for sex. For women the greatest challenge was the overall lack of intimacy in the relationship. The reason for these dissimilar answers is that men and women see intimacy very differently. Men judge intimacy from the viewpoint of what their wife does or does not do in regards to her responsiveness. Women see intimacy from an overall perspective; is there intimacy in the other areas of the relationship? The only way to bridge this gap between husbands and wives is to lovingly meet the other person’s need for affection in the way they are expecting. 

G. Have you ever cheated your partner in this marriage/relationship?

 The answer to this question was quite revealing especially because of the differences and idea most of them had on cheating. Cheating is the major problem in marriage and relationship struggle.

6. Happiness
It’s important to make someone happy, and it’s important to start with yourself.  But before your level of contentment can improve, your choices and actions must improve.
Here are my list of personal view based on struggle for happiness:

A.  You let envy get the best of you-
When you feel envious, tell yourself not to feel envious.  Be audible and direct.  Tell the ‘why not me?’ voice in your head to quiet down and tell the ‘don’t be silly’ voice to speak up.  It really is this simple.  You actually prevent envy by addressing it directly and stopping.

B.   You don’t DO enough-
A majority of your anxiety and unhappiness likely come  from a subconscious disappointment in yourself thereby giving you that orientation about ""You don’t Do enough""

C.   You’ve let too many problems accumulate-
Unresolved problems can quickly suck the life out of you.  Yet when you resolve just one small problem, you immediately inject a powerful dose of positive energy into everything else you’re involved in.

D.  You hold all your feelings hostage -
Anything that’s true in your mind – feelings, fears, etc. – is mentionable to a good friend, and anything that’s mentionable can be more manageable.  When you can talk about how you feel, your thoughts become less overwhelming and scary, and more understood. 

E. Your relationships lack an honest, mutual understanding -
Love is the feeling you have for those you hold in high regard.  It can be as light as the quick hug you give a friend or as heavy as the sacrifices you make for your family.  Regardless of the type of love you’re dealing with, your primary obligation is to be open and honest – to express the nature of your feelings when such expression would be meaningful.

F.  You choose to be negative -
Whenever you find yourself going toward be angry over little things just know you are heading or choosing a negative approach towards happiness. Pull yourself away from the thoughts that make you feel bad – the ones that add zero value to your growth; see how doing so changes your life.  You don’t need these negative thoughts; all they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.

Thanks for taking time to read this articles.




As you struggle always keep in mind two things

Written by:
Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka
Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor
University of Benin

Credited to:
Those who struggle in different area of  life . Just cheer up.











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